Wishlist:
To be promoted to J2
Camera
figure skating lessons and my own pair of boots
Good Grades
To be a pro pianist and singer =D
To be promoted to J2
Camera
figure skating lessons and my own pair of boots
Good Grades
To be a pro pianist and singer =D
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Friday, July 31, 2009
OKAY FINE! ALL THESE WHILE, I AM NOT FEELING OKAY ALRIGHT. I WAS JUST DENYING AND PUTTING IT ASIDE, TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT. BUT I JUST CANT. FUCK. I CANT BE BOTHERED ANYMORE LUH!
Thursday, July 30, 2009
everytime I talk about it
all those feelings will start coming back
frightened, stressed, confused, everything
the person that i wish,
will know how i'm feeling
will never and I dont even know how to bring it up
to that person.
I don't know how long I can last.
But please accept how things go if i really cant make it.
i'm sorry.
tears, once again
all those feelings will start coming back
frightened, stressed, confused, everything
the person that i wish,
will know how i'm feeling
will never and I dont even know how to bring it up
to that person.
I don't know how long I can last.
But please accept how things go if i really cant make it.
i'm sorry.
tears, once again
Monday, July 27, 2009
alright. so I cried today.=( But I shall move on right this time. I shall be stronger. Though I don't know how. With promos coming up soon and piano exam on the 20th aug. Everything is so fast paced.
Will you stay awake for me?
Will you stay awake for me?
Sunday, July 26, 2009
friday's haunted house was kinda fun. though it wasnt that scary. I went in with Yi han. It was funny. lol. anyway, watching Anthony was hilarious. He was running away from the 'girl ghost' when she wanted to tie the red string around his wrist. EPIC. haha. Jerome tried to scare me by hiding behind the pillar. FAIL. lol. Was locked up in school for a moment before the school's uncle unlocked the gate for us from outside. THANKS UNCLE! haha. So, i didnt climb out of school. though i would love to do something like that one day. just for the fun of it.
Saturday was school in the afternoon....beancurd with sheryl and wen bin, kovan to pay my looonnngggggg overdued phone bill. teehee. After that, dinner with bro and we walked around parkway. I finally got a new shoe bag. YAY =D next, home, practised piano then midnight movie. The Hangover. one funny movie. lol.
Sunday, today. woke up at 10am. freaking late for piano lesson. and even though I practised more of piano this week, it was really shit crap during lesson. I played nothing but shyt. was kinda pissed and frustrated after lesson. became emo and totally didnt know what to do. Sat at the bus stop opposite St Pats for quite long before deciding to go PP. thanks to those people for all those encourageous advices and all. really appreciate it. =) I love you guys. I really feel like a little girl with all of you. It's like all of you are my big brothers and sisters. Serious. Met up with Jon, then Joanna on my way to the bus stop. Anyway, first math tuition today was not bad. Though not really what I had in mind....at least I'm clearer in some things? yeah. okay. lessons with that boy is really funny. hah.
Now i'm home, shall study soon. math quiz and chem lecture test tmr. I dont know how i'm gonna cope with kinetics! ZOMG!
Saturday was school in the afternoon....beancurd with sheryl and wen bin, kovan to pay my looonnngggggg overdued phone bill. teehee. After that, dinner with bro and we walked around parkway. I finally got a new shoe bag. YAY =D next, home, practised piano then midnight movie. The Hangover. one funny movie. lol.
Sunday, today. woke up at 10am. freaking late for piano lesson. and even though I practised more of piano this week, it was really shit crap during lesson. I played nothing but shyt. was kinda pissed and frustrated after lesson. became emo and totally didnt know what to do. Sat at the bus stop opposite St Pats for quite long before deciding to go PP. thanks to those people for all those encourageous advices and all. really appreciate it. =) I love you guys. I really feel like a little girl with all of you. It's like all of you are my big brothers and sisters. Serious. Met up with Jon, then Joanna on my way to the bus stop. Anyway, first math tuition today was not bad. Though not really what I had in mind....at least I'm clearer in some things? yeah. okay. lessons with that boy is really funny. hah.
Now i'm home, shall study soon. math quiz and chem lecture test tmr. I dont know how i'm gonna cope with kinetics! ZOMG!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
=(
Sien is falling sick. Therefore she was not able to do Will Run today. and there's listening compre exam tomorrow. How great. =( Somebody save me. Even though I wanna fall sick, this is not the right time to be.
Sien is falling sick. Therefore she was not able to do Will Run today. and there's listening compre exam tomorrow. How great. =( Somebody save me. Even though I wanna fall sick, this is not the right time to be.
Monday, July 20, 2009
okay fine. life i get it already.
everybody and everything freaking doesnt matter.
alright! fuck!
in this world where everything is so superficial,
I shall not bother about anything and anyone anymore
I'm tired of caring for the people around me
and Shit is what i get from them.
everybody and everything freaking doesnt matter.
alright! fuck!
in this world where everything is so superficial,
I shall not bother about anything and anyone anymore
I'm tired of caring for the people around me
and Shit is what i get from them.
fucked up.
wow. so this is what you call a good friend is eh? I'm surprised. I never know you'll ever have this crossing your mind. that i made use of you? what the FUCK. why would i want to make use of you? and why would I even do that? I dont wear a mask. and I am not a bitch okay. You got a problem with me and yet you didnt even bother to clear it up. You apologised but now, thinking of it, I dont think you're sincere cause if you were, you would have cleared it up with me. If you were my good friend, which you claimed you were, you would have cleared the stupid childish misunderstanding with me. Not keep it all to yourself and then call me a bitch alright. Let me say it clear right here. I, didnt make use of you, and would not make use of her good friends at all. Everybody was to change partners anyway that day, and if you didnt want to change with me, why didnt you and her say no? HUH? now, because you didnt make it, you two put all the blame on me? I'm not pushing the blame to anyone or anything. I was just surprised that such a thought would even go to your mind? I was seriously shocked when I heard that okay. I'm so disappointed. I really am. Well, if you want things to be like that so be it. There's nothing I can do anyway if you think that I'm like that.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
I wonder just where you are
Friday, July 17, 2009
Anyway, I ran a total of 10km today. First time running so much in one single day. It was madness. I dont know how i'm going to survive wednesday's 10km run. Serious. My timing today was really bad. I really gave up and didnt push myself today. I dont know why. =( Not good. not good. =( and my legs are aching from all the running and jumping. oh. Today, Coach read out the names of those who made into the training team and gladly, I got in. =) Yay. Gotta train harder. =0
I WANNA BITCH!
the bad luck is finding its way to me once again?!
I think this year's really not my year. It's like I'm so unlucky this year. =(
Today, i was early. I walked all the way out happily, on my way to school. Then I realised i forgot to bring my phone so I walked all the way back home and out again. --> late.--> no time to bathe after running 6km. =( So i rushed to bathe during my break. I was rushing and I think i forgot to keep my shampoo and soap with me. =( it's new. NEW. bodyshop body wash. damn sian. arghhhhhhhhhhh. RANT RANT RANT RANT.
and....I think life is really cruel and unfair.
All the wars, riots, bombings going on all around the world..Why did they do that? Is there really no other way to solve a problem? Why must human kill one another and kill their own kind, their own people? I don't understand the brains of these people. And I'm upset about it too. There's another bombing in Jakarta, Mariott hotel and Ritz Carlton, causing death and injuries to people. Look, why must people lose their love ones from this kind of stupid things? DAMN IT. I want peace in the world yo. PEACE!
the bad luck is finding its way to me once again?!
I think this year's really not my year. It's like I'm so unlucky this year. =(
Today, i was early. I walked all the way out happily, on my way to school. Then I realised i forgot to bring my phone so I walked all the way back home and out again. --> late.--> no time to bathe after running 6km. =( So i rushed to bathe during my break. I was rushing and I think i forgot to keep my shampoo and soap with me. =( it's new. NEW. bodyshop body wash. damn sian. arghhhhhhhhhhh. RANT RANT RANT RANT.
and....I think life is really cruel and unfair.
All the wars, riots, bombings going on all around the world..Why did they do that? Is there really no other way to solve a problem? Why must human kill one another and kill their own kind, their own people? I don't understand the brains of these people. And I'm upset about it too. There's another bombing in Jakarta, Mariott hotel and Ritz Carlton, causing death and injuries to people. Look, why must people lose their love ones from this kind of stupid things? DAMN IT. I want peace in the world yo. PEACE!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
okay...so ...wearing contacts for one side only is quite tough..haha.
Lucky it didnt really affect me much during tennis assessment today. but after that...it was like crap. cant really tell see the ball clearly.
anyway, today was school, tennis, beancurd with Guys. crap. home.
usual day.
Lucky it didnt really affect me much during tennis assessment today. but after that...it was like crap. cant really tell see the ball clearly.
anyway, today was school, tennis, beancurd with Guys. crap. home.
usual day.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
great..Now i got eyelid inflamation. wtf. -.-
because it's swollen, everytime people see me, they'll go 'you look like you dont have enough sleep. like you haven sleep for days, and, youre eyebag's damn bad.' zomg. I know the eyebag part is kinda serious luh. freaking bad bad eyebag.
Today's not such a good day. and I was late for school today. =( woke up at almost 7am. well.. HAHAHA. Bellton was late too. teehee. I think he wanna go back to the darn early bird programme. You're on your way there bellton. and, the funny thing is, Mr Yong actually said, 'bloody hell!' muahahaha. ( I am so dead if bellton sees this. ) haha. okay...I guess a teacher complained to mr lim about me? yes...I realised I've lost my focus. I've changed. At the start of the year, I was so open, and outgoing, laughing all day with char during chinese class. But now, I've become one unhappy girl, one sad girl, who seem to have lost herself. She doesnt even know what she wants, what's her motivation and what's her goal. She really got no idea. This seriously frustrates her.
Jiang lao shi did set me thinking about some things. She told me the Xin Xian she used to know is gone. well...I agree. I'll try to find her back though. I'll try to pick myself up and I know it's gonna be hard. But...I'll try?
give me strength, give me hope, let me see the light and love.
because it's swollen, everytime people see me, they'll go 'you look like you dont have enough sleep. like you haven sleep for days, and, youre eyebag's damn bad.' zomg. I know the eyebag part is kinda serious luh. freaking bad bad eyebag.
Today's not such a good day. and I was late for school today. =( woke up at almost 7am. well.. HAHAHA. Bellton was late too. teehee. I think he wanna go back to the darn early bird programme. You're on your way there bellton. and, the funny thing is, Mr Yong actually said, 'bloody hell!' muahahaha. ( I am so dead if bellton sees this. ) haha. okay...I guess a teacher complained to mr lim about me? yes...I realised I've lost my focus. I've changed. At the start of the year, I was so open, and outgoing, laughing all day with char during chinese class. But now, I've become one unhappy girl, one sad girl, who seem to have lost herself. She doesnt even know what she wants, what's her motivation and what's her goal. She really got no idea. This seriously frustrates her.
Jiang lao shi did set me thinking about some things. She told me the Xin Xian she used to know is gone. well...I agree. I'll try to find her back though. I'll try to pick myself up and I know it's gonna be hard. But...I'll try?
give me strength, give me hope, let me see the light and love.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
I've been confused and in the dark
and I still am.
Until someone tell me
Until I find out
I'll remain
and I still am.
Until someone tell me
Until I find out
I'll remain
YOUR CALL
Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat,
Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to,
to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
When you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your...)
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to,
to make you mine Stay with me tonight
And I'm tired of being all alone,
and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)
Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat,
Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to,
to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
When you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your...)
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to,
to make you mine Stay with me tonight
And I'm tired of being all alone,
and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Sien is very tired and sleepy.
All the long days and nights.
Not sleeping well and sometimes even sleeping on the couch...
and my aching body..
zzZZZ
i need lots of sleep to get rid of my eyebags!!
today's not a good day. i was pissed.
All the long days and nights.
Not sleeping well and sometimes even sleeping on the couch...
and my aching body..
zzZZZ
i need lots of sleep to get rid of my eyebags!!
today's not a good day. i was pissed.
lol. chee yuan asked me to bring him along to school for next week's parent-teacher session and say he's my brother. LOL. I'll seriously be dead if i really do that.
Friday, July 10, 2009
i finally broke down today.
yeah. today, is the day.
after holding it back for quite some time.
thanks irwin and christopher for talking sense into me.
thanks for directing me. i mean it.
yeah. today, is the day.
after holding it back for quite some time.
thanks irwin and christopher for talking sense into me.
thanks for directing me. i mean it.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
hurt.
that one sentence really hit me hard.
but i guess that's the truth?
ANYWAY, I HATE SCHOOL. DETEST SCHOOL.
that one sentence really hit me hard.
but i guess that's the truth?
ANYWAY, I HATE SCHOOL. DETEST SCHOOL.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
monday: pissed with pw
tuesday: pissed with math
wednesday: 3/4 break point. pissed with everything.
I WANT TO KEEP MYSELF OUT OF SCHOOL!!!
no sleep tonight. kickass.
i feel really lost and dont know where and how to pick myself up.
is there anyone who can direct and help me up from this big mess ?
tuesday: pissed with math
wednesday: 3/4 break point. pissed with everything.
I WANT TO KEEP MYSELF OUT OF SCHOOL!!!
no sleep tonight. kickass.
i feel really lost and dont know where and how to pick myself up.
is there anyone who can direct and help me up from this big mess ?
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
my life really suck right now. upside down, all around messed up. so much to complete. so many deadlines to meet with so little time. i will turn into a zombie soon.
breaking point.
breaking point.
FUCK! CANT STAND IT ANYMORE. EOM SUCKS TTM. I'VE BEEN DOING IT FOR FISHING LONG BUT I JUST CANT DO IT. IT JUST MADE MY BLOOD BOILED. ASSS!!!!! NO PRINTER + VERY FEW ARTICLES ON MY TOPIC + A SLEEPY SIEN. GREAT MAN. LOOKS LIKE MY EYE'S GONNA CONTINUE TO BE SWOLLEN. + MORE EYE BAGS. + DARK EYE RINGS. FUCK MAN.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Sien is friggin' pissed right now because of PW EOM, which is totally wasting her time, when she can use the time to do her econs homework. She've spent more than 2 hours trying to find articles and the credibility on the writer, obviously in vain. Therefore she is friggin mad, and just feel like going for PW lesson empty handed tomorrow. Her wish: for PW to be taken out of A levels next time.
SIEN IS REALLY MAD TTM !
okay...now, i want to be quarantined. so srjc, feel free to do so. thank you very much!
SIEN IS REALLY MAD TTM !
okay...now, i want to be quarantined. so srjc, feel free to do so. thank you very much!
whoo. back from penang. kinda enjoyed myself. Saturday night was the blast. Sis and me were like mad people. lol. I only did 4 or 5 math question? Only studied friggin 1 math chapter. so not productive at all. But I'm really very happy to have family reunion. =DD got to see cousins and my frigging cute and adorable rachel! haha. Now, back to singapore. So it's back to studying, homeworks,cca and piano. But I need to go x ray asap. cross my fingers man. X X X X X
do not have too much of it.
do not have too much of it.
Friday, July 3, 2009
okay. here i am again. emoing again. Jon. dont say anything. =( I'm kinda sad cause the show i'm watching is very touching. I long for something like that, something so true and innocent like that. also, i have lots to worry about. I just started worrying for my back once again. Cause I realised and found out that my back will have cracking sound when I lift my leg. Injured my back a few months ago and experienced pain when I walk but I thought it was okay already. I thought it was healed. Until recently, when my hips start to hurt a little and there's sound from my back...I can even feel it. =( I was very angry and sad about this. Cause I came to a conclusion that I may not be able to do sports. I can forget about training and trying so hard to get into school's tennis team. Everything i worked so hard for..just to get into tennis. And this is all i get? life's unfair isnt it. Okay. Maybe it is not that serious? Which i hope. I dont know why, there was just this sudden feeling of panic that came over me just now. I didnt know it can be that serious..so i guess i need to go for x ray soon...and hopefully assure me that i am fine.
not gonna sleep tonight. ******* *** much. plane at 0805am tmr. gosh. homeworks to rush. damn.
not gonna sleep tonight. ******* *** much. plane at 0805am tmr. gosh. homeworks to rush. damn.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
those big eye bags.
those endless homework.
trying to rush to every place.
it's driving me nuts.
soon.
i will break.
i forgot how to say it anymore.
those endless homework.
trying to rush to every place.
it's driving me nuts.
soon.
i will break.
i forgot how to say it anymore.