Wishlist:
To be promoted to J2
Camera
figure skating lessons and my own pair of boots
Good Grades
To be a pro pianist and singer =D
To be promoted to J2
Camera
figure skating lessons and my own pair of boots
Good Grades
To be a pro pianist and singer =D
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Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.
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Saturday, November 28, 2009
today's tournament was terrible. really terrible. i lost all my freaking matches =(
1st match's point was close. the rest....nah.....the other girls were really good. but, my regret was making all the stupid mistakes in the knockout rounds. =(
double faults...nets...mistakes that i shouldnt make. hmmmm. i wont be playing tennis for about one month soon...and i dont know if i can go for the tennis training camp. hopefully, parents will let and my stuff will be settled by then, so i can go for the training. i really hope i would be able to win a few matches in the tournament next year Jan. =) cross my fingers. xx
1st match's point was close. the rest....nah.....the other girls were really good. but, my regret was making all the stupid mistakes in the knockout rounds. =(
double faults...nets...mistakes that i shouldnt make. hmmmm. i wont be playing tennis for about one month soon...and i dont know if i can go for the tennis training camp. hopefully, parents will let and my stuff will be settled by then, so i can go for the training. i really hope i would be able to win a few matches in the tournament next year Jan. =) cross my fingers. xx
Thursday, November 26, 2009
OKAY. FUCK. OMGGGGGG. FUCK. I KNOW I AM GONNA RETAIN. CAN YOU ALL QUIT BUGGING ME? ARGHH. retaining doesnt even bothers me as much as you all do. OMG. I MEAN IT. STOP. BUGGING. ME!
i want some margarita please. ♥
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
FUCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
fuck fuck fuck.
omg. YES I KNOW I AM RETAINING!
stop making a big deal out of it.
how many talks do you all wanna give?
how many times must you all nag? HUH?!
stop saying i am freaking spoilt. stop saying i am like a baby!
fuck. this is the reason why i cant grow right. damn it. damn it. damn it. DAMN IT.
if you all dont know what's going through my mind, or what i am fucking going through. then stop telling me this and that. you think i never thought of the things you said before?! think twice alright!
I WARN YOU. STOP SAYING I AM LIKE A SMALL KID ALRIGHT?! DAMN!
fuck fuck fuck.
omg. YES I KNOW I AM RETAINING!
stop making a big deal out of it.
how many talks do you all wanna give?
how many times must you all nag? HUH?!
stop saying i am freaking spoilt. stop saying i am like a baby!
fuck. this is the reason why i cant grow right. damn it. damn it. damn it. DAMN IT.
if you all dont know what's going through my mind, or what i am fucking going through. then stop telling me this and that. you think i never thought of the things you said before?! think twice alright!
I WARN YOU. STOP SAYING I AM LIKE A SMALL KID ALRIGHT?! DAMN!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
I WANT THAT RING I SAW YESTERDAY! =(
today was a really greeaaaaaaaattttt day for me! =)
hmmmm. okay.... i was damn late when meeting zw.
ssorry for making you wait for more than half any hour! hah.
so. zw, shafik, me. happy three friends' outing. shiok.
lunched. movie! 2012 was awesome. awesomely sad, heartbreaking, heart throbbing. great movie. hah. hmmmmm. watched a bit of a winx club performance after that cause 'some small kids' wanted too. =DD walked around marina and suntec afterwards.
headed to uncle's house in the evening and we went dinner at long beach. dessert after dinner at somewhere near vivo. by the bay? all in all, today's a really fun and great day for me.
on a random note, I love my uncle. TTM. <3
hmmmm. okay.... i was damn late when meeting zw.
ssorry for making you wait for more than half any hour! hah.
so. zw, shafik, me. happy three friends' outing. shiok.
lunched. movie! 2012 was awesome. awesomely sad, heartbreaking, heart throbbing. great movie. hah. hmmmmm. watched a bit of a winx club performance after that cause 'some small kids' wanted too. =DD walked around marina and suntec afterwards.
headed to uncle's house in the evening and we went dinner at long beach. dessert after dinner at somewhere near vivo. by the bay? all in all, today's a really fun and great day for me.
on a random note, I love my uncle. TTM. <3
Saturday, November 21, 2009
FUCK MY LIFE.
i'm done for today.
i'm done for today.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
dont know why i'm feeling all weird and emo again.
i feel like drinking? letting everything out.
like seriously. i want to let go.
i've never stayed over at a friend's place before. just because there may be guys around. i remembered last year. after Os..i was looking forward to the chalet. I was really looking forward to the chalet so muchhh. In the end. I wasnt allowed to stay. and they gave me many reasons on why they dont allow me to stay over. Yes. they are worried for my safety. Yes, it's all for my own good. But isnt it just...they dont trust me? they always say in their eyes, i'm still a small girl. Dont know about things. I'm very naive. Very protected. that's why i dont know this and that. Maybe, sometimes you should not worry so much? give me MY life? not like i go around doing arson and stuff. The thing that gets me really pissed is when they say i am very protected and i dont know about a lot of things. it really gets on my nerve. I will say. My 'friends', they know me better than my own ppl? Sad to say that right? but that's just the fact. before u ask me anything or say :' why didnt u tell me this and that?' ask yourself first. why didnt she want to tell me? is she scared? or is it because all along i've forbid her to do this and that. that's why she dont wanna share her feelings and what she's thinking with me? HUH? have you all ever asked yourself these questions? before telling me what's right for me and what's good for me, have you all ever thought this? What is it, that I really want? HUH? HAVE YOU ALL EVER ASKED YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS? you know how it feels? to see your friends having fun, staying over? doing some things that they are allowed to do. and you're not allowed. you kinda feel outcast in some ways. i think you all never asked me what i really want before? you dont know why i dont wanna come home early. you all dont know how i feel at all. nobody knows. except me? my friends are the only ones i can talk to....at least a few. whom i can trust.
but these few days... dont know why. when i really really need to talk to someone. about how i feel. about everything i'm feeling, without keeping anything from them, or afraid to let them know some stuff....i realised. there's no one i can talk to. so i guess i dont really have a close friend? yeah. so..everyone around me is superficial? idk...i really dont know who really cares about me, Who really knows me well. it's so frustrating.
writing this. not to gain sympathy or whatsoever. i'm just writing how i'm feeling.
i feel like drinking? letting everything out.
like seriously. i want to let go.
i've never stayed over at a friend's place before. just because there may be guys around. i remembered last year. after Os..i was looking forward to the chalet. I was really looking forward to the chalet so muchhh. In the end. I wasnt allowed to stay. and they gave me many reasons on why they dont allow me to stay over. Yes. they are worried for my safety. Yes, it's all for my own good. But isnt it just...they dont trust me? they always say in their eyes, i'm still a small girl. Dont know about things. I'm very naive. Very protected. that's why i dont know this and that. Maybe, sometimes you should not worry so much? give me MY life? not like i go around doing arson and stuff. The thing that gets me really pissed is when they say i am very protected and i dont know about a lot of things. it really gets on my nerve. I will say. My 'friends', they know me better than my own ppl? Sad to say that right? but that's just the fact. before u ask me anything or say :' why didnt u tell me this and that?' ask yourself first. why didnt she want to tell me? is she scared? or is it because all along i've forbid her to do this and that. that's why she dont wanna share her feelings and what she's thinking with me? HUH? have you all ever asked yourself these questions? before telling me what's right for me and what's good for me, have you all ever thought this? What is it, that I really want? HUH? HAVE YOU ALL EVER ASKED YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS? you know how it feels? to see your friends having fun, staying over? doing some things that they are allowed to do. and you're not allowed. you kinda feel outcast in some ways. i think you all never asked me what i really want before? you dont know why i dont wanna come home early. you all dont know how i feel at all. nobody knows. except me? my friends are the only ones i can talk to....at least a few. whom i can trust.
but these few days... dont know why. when i really really need to talk to someone. about how i feel. about everything i'm feeling, without keeping anything from them, or afraid to let them know some stuff....i realised. there's no one i can talk to. so i guess i dont really have a close friend? yeah. so..everyone around me is superficial? idk...i really dont know who really cares about me, Who really knows me well. it's so frustrating.
writing this. not to gain sympathy or whatsoever. i'm just writing how i'm feeling.
i guess i'll never get to see the meteor shower. =(
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
hmmmm. another good friend gonna be attached soon.
good luck to you friend! =D
hmmm. had CIP at the child care centre outside school today. kinda fun. I guess the kids had much fun too =) hee. went back to school and ended playing volleyball and monkey. hah. Jeremy's version of lady gaga's poker face was the bomb man! it's like....BOOMZ. hah. Dinner at hougang mall later with shantelephone, shad and bryce. hah. we talked a lot. home. packed my stuff. online! teehee.
good luck to you friend! =D
hmmm. had CIP at the child care centre outside school today. kinda fun. I guess the kids had much fun too =) hee. went back to school and ended playing volleyball and monkey. hah. Jeremy's version of lady gaga's poker face was the bomb man! it's like....BOOMZ. hah. Dinner at hougang mall later with shantelephone, shad and bryce. hah. we talked a lot. home. packed my stuff. online! teehee.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
okay. i'm sso fucking pissed right now.
my head hurt so bad.
I'M JUST FUCKING WAITING FOR THE DAY WHERE I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE AND JUST GO COMMIT SUICIDE. DAMN IT.
my head hurt so bad.
I'M JUST FUCKING WAITING FOR THE DAY WHERE I CANT TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE AND JUST GO COMMIT SUICIDE. DAMN IT.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
1 more chance to prove to myself and those around me.
3 months to show it.
if not.
maybe i'll just do the craziest thing.
3 months to show it.
if not.
maybe i'll just do the craziest thing.
Friday, November 13, 2009
here I am. once again.
I dont know what i want.
I dont know what i need.
I dont know what lies ahead of me.
I dont know what i should do to protect myself.
I dont know everything.
Someone enlighten me please?
i cant stand it anymore.
I dont know what i want.
I dont know what i need.
I dont know what lies ahead of me.
I dont know what i should do to protect myself.
I dont know everything.
Someone enlighten me please?
i cant stand it anymore.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
yeah. all my used to be 'good' friends moved on with their lives already.
they made more friends this year. and i'm their past. that's it.
all the things we shared, has gone down the drain. just like that.
they made more friends this year. and i'm their past. that's it.
all the things we shared, has gone down the drain. just like that.
10th nov. - piercing.
16th nov. - injection. oh no..
20th nov.
27th nov. - dont wanna get owned.
8th dec. - sarawak
13th dec. - back from sarawak
anyway. parents came last week. it was a blast.i had a great great time. =)
thanks daddy and mummy. and also. Isabelle sis and willy bro. =) i had fun on saturday too. dinner at ting heng. dempsey after that :) i love my mum and dad. teehee. right. coach put me in the tournament too. yay. but that just means i have to work harder before the tournment comes. hmmm. and training tmr at 10am. i am still here. not in bed yet. hope i wont be late tmr!
16th nov. - injection. oh no..
20th nov.
27th nov. - dont wanna get owned.
8th dec. - sarawak
13th dec. - back from sarawak
anyway. parents came last week. it was a blast.i had a great great time. =)
thanks daddy and mummy. and also. Isabelle sis and willy bro. =) i had fun on saturday too. dinner at ting heng. dempsey after that :) i love my mum and dad. teehee. right. coach put me in the tournament too. yay. but that just means i have to work harder before the tournment comes. hmmm. and training tmr at 10am. i am still here. not in bed yet. hope i wont be late tmr!
Monday, November 9, 2009
hello. I LOVE ONEW!
SO CUTE! <3 THANKS TO JINGYUAN. ZZZZ.
SO CUTE! <3 THANKS TO JINGYUAN. ZZZZ.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
effing bad bad day.
but dinner made it a lil better.
but dinner made it a lil better.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
cinta dalam hati. =)
ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
meski ku tunggu hingga hujung waktuku
dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untukekejap saja
ku ingin kau tahu diriku di sini menanti dirimu
meski ku tunggu hingga hujung waktuku
dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya
dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja
tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya
dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untukekejap saja
damn. chinese A level today was seriously difficult. I never had to think so long for each questions. i never had not enough time to finish the paper. wth. checked answer with a paper corrected by a teacher. and SHIT. most my answers were wrong. wth. freak.
anyway, I think bad luck has befalled me again?
1. retain
2. no clinic closed when i needed one
3. i broke my dbs card. yes. a real card.
you see. i needed to withdraw money. the queue was long and i was queueing alone. so, to fight the boredom, my fingers started to play and bend the card. bend bend bend. PIAK. the card broke. i was like. fuck. the piak sound was so loud, everyone turned to look at me while i got out of the queue. It was funny and yet it was like..err...shit. what did i just do?! i better replace the card by tmr and hopefully it doesnt require any signature. *cross my fingers*
i finally told parents about it. so. phew. one trouble down. =)
sarawak dance tmr. woohoo. fun. haha.
alright. something's bothering me but I dont exactly know what it is.
it's just irritating to feel this way.
anyway..i got this friend. I felt we've really drifted. maybe it's my own thinking and stuff like that. but seriously, i miss you. well, i dont think you'll read this. and i dont think you know who's the person anyway. i dont wanna say who. but, i do miss you. kinda? yeah...
alright. alton koh ming cheng is going for a holiday to hk tmr. have fun over there. bon voyage and come back safely! =))
anyway, I think bad luck has befalled me again?
1. retain
2. no clinic closed when i needed one
3. i broke my dbs card. yes. a real card.
you see. i needed to withdraw money. the queue was long and i was queueing alone. so, to fight the boredom, my fingers started to play and bend the card. bend bend bend. PIAK. the card broke. i was like. fuck. the piak sound was so loud, everyone turned to look at me while i got out of the queue. It was funny and yet it was like..err...shit. what did i just do?! i better replace the card by tmr and hopefully it doesnt require any signature. *cross my fingers*
i finally told parents about it. so. phew. one trouble down. =)
sarawak dance tmr. woohoo. fun. haha.
alright. something's bothering me but I dont exactly know what it is.
it's just irritating to feel this way.
anyway..i got this friend. I felt we've really drifted. maybe it's my own thinking and stuff like that. but seriously, i miss you. well, i dont think you'll read this. and i dont think you know who's the person anyway. i dont wanna say who. but, i do miss you. kinda? yeah...
alright. alton koh ming cheng is going for a holiday to hk tmr. have fun over there. bon voyage and come back safely! =))
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Chinese A level paper tomorrow.
I'm nervous.
Dont know what to do.
Something's bothering me.
But I dont know what.
=(
I'm nervous.
Dont know what to do.
Something's bothering me.
But I dont know what.
=(