Wishlist:
To be promoted to J2
Camera
figure skating lessons and my own pair of boots
Good Grades
To be a pro pianist and singer =D
To be promoted to J2
Camera
figure skating lessons and my own pair of boots
Good Grades
To be a pro pianist and singer =D
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Bituwin -
template
Dementee -
image
Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.
Hit counter code here
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
today's not a really great day.
I cant believe i let myself down.
I cant believe i let my friends down.
I cant believe and accept the fact that i allowed myself to give up during the race. Such a bloody loser. I've never given up running. I always push myself to continue running and persevere. So why did i made a stupid mistake to quit? such a loser. LOSER. I thought even if i couldnt win, at least finish the race. i wanted to proof to myself that i can do it. I wanted to break my own mental barrier. That's why i bothered to go for the race. but....i gave up. I gave in to the weaker side of me. I remember being nervous and really scared at the starting point. I almost cried. When it was time to run...everyone started off really fast. I was just very pressurized and demoralized. that one and a half round was really tough for me. cause what i was thinking in my head the whole time was: how am i going to finish 7.5 rounds around the track? how am i going to win this race? no...you cant. just give up. you're tired. you cant keep up... i stopped once. i was so confused. i just stopped running. stood there if i should continue running or give up. i continued. then after running for about another 200m, i just gave up. it was hard to give up. I didnt want to give up, but i couldnt keep up and i was under tremendous pressure. I know i would let myself down and be disappointed if i give up. but i just did it anyway. and the moment i stopped, i just started crying. that disappointment i felt...was unbearable...i never expected myself to stop halfway. niether did my friends. i let them down. myself down. and also..mr kok down. and the tennis team down i felt. i'm so sorry. really.
I cant believe i let myself down.
I cant believe i let my friends down.
I cant believe and accept the fact that i allowed myself to give up during the race. Such a bloody loser. I've never given up running. I always push myself to continue running and persevere. So why did i made a stupid mistake to quit? such a loser. LOSER. I thought even if i couldnt win, at least finish the race. i wanted to proof to myself that i can do it. I wanted to break my own mental barrier. That's why i bothered to go for the race. but....i gave up. I gave in to the weaker side of me. I remember being nervous and really scared at the starting point. I almost cried. When it was time to run...everyone started off really fast. I was just very pressurized and demoralized. that one and a half round was really tough for me. cause what i was thinking in my head the whole time was: how am i going to finish 7.5 rounds around the track? how am i going to win this race? no...you cant. just give up. you're tired. you cant keep up... i stopped once. i was so confused. i just stopped running. stood there if i should continue running or give up. i continued. then after running for about another 200m, i just gave up. it was hard to give up. I didnt want to give up, but i couldnt keep up and i was under tremendous pressure. I know i would let myself down and be disappointed if i give up. but i just did it anyway. and the moment i stopped, i just started crying. that disappointment i felt...was unbearable...i never expected myself to stop halfway. niether did my friends. i let them down. myself down. and also..mr kok down. and the tennis team down i felt. i'm so sorry. really.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
i wish i'm outside.
sitting somewhere with someone i could talk to.
let out all my frustrations.
let out all of my unhappiness.
the thing is,
i dont exactly know what's making me feel like this.
i feel....pain.
I need a drink.
sitting somewhere with someone i could talk to.
let out all my frustrations.
let out all of my unhappiness.
the thing is,
i dont exactly know what's making me feel like this.
i feel....pain.
I need a drink.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
no it's not okay.
no it's not right.
i dont wanna fall into the same place
no i dont wanna
no, i dont wanna feel the pain
ever again. i'm tired of it.
everytime i thought i'm finally right.
someone, has got to prove that i'm wrong.
again. why why why.
no it's not right.
i dont wanna fall into the same place
no i dont wanna
no, i dont wanna feel the pain
ever again. i'm tired of it.
everytime i thought i'm finally right.
someone, has got to prove that i'm wrong.
again. why why why.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
A level result was released today. I'm glad that srjc did well with an average score of 70. i'm proud of my school! and...the happy thing is....both XY and DEE one of the hmmm....quite many? top scorers. 80 plus points! awesome! great job guys!!!! and...i got back my chinese result too. with a shocking B and distinction for oral. =D i was actually expecting to get D...since i thought i screwed up my oral and paper. haha. YAY. one paper down!! NO MORE CHINESE LESSONS FROM MONDAY ONWARDS! AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. =DDDDD
played match with gen...and i lost with a score of 6-3. really wasted my last point. or i would have gotten a chance to play till 6-5 maybe? =( but...i think i improved quite a bit. and today was not bad. I'm quite happy with my performance today. so it's alright. =D
FUCK. do you have to off the light when i'm still doing my work? tsk.
played match with gen...and i lost with a score of 6-3. really wasted my last point. or i would have gotten a chance to play till 6-5 maybe? =( but...i think i improved quite a bit. and today was not bad. I'm quite happy with my performance today. so it's alright. =D
FUCK. do you have to off the light when i'm still doing my work? tsk.
Monday, March 1, 2010
broken promises.
words left unsaid.
minds left to wonder.
and it came to a conclusion,
none ever wanted or realized
till it's all too late to salvage.
it's all just too late.
broken hearts,
no one will ever suspect it.
all used to it.
it doesnt matter anymore.
it just doesnt matter anymore.
you gave me hope.
to hope for nothing at all.
words left unsaid.
minds left to wonder.
and it came to a conclusion,
none ever wanted or realized
till it's all too late to salvage.
it's all just too late.
broken hearts,
no one will ever suspect it.
all used to it.
it doesnt matter anymore.
it just doesnt matter anymore.
you gave me hope.
to hope for nothing at all.