Wishlist:
To be promoted to J2
Camera
figure skating lessons and my own pair of boots
Good Grades
To be a pro pianist and singer =D
To be promoted to J2
Camera
figure skating lessons and my own pair of boots
Good Grades
To be a pro pianist and singer =D
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Bituwin -
template
Dementee -
image
Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls.
Hit counter code here
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
today's not a really great day.
I cant believe i let myself down.
I cant believe i let my friends down.
I cant believe and accept the fact that i allowed myself to give up during the race. Such a bloody loser. I've never given up running. I always push myself to continue running and persevere. So why did i made a stupid mistake to quit? such a loser. LOSER. I thought even if i couldnt win, at least finish the race. i wanted to proof to myself that i can do it. I wanted to break my own mental barrier. That's why i bothered to go for the race. but....i gave up. I gave in to the weaker side of me. I remember being nervous and really scared at the starting point. I almost cried. When it was time to run...everyone started off really fast. I was just very pressurized and demoralized. that one and a half round was really tough for me. cause what i was thinking in my head the whole time was: how am i going to finish 7.5 rounds around the track? how am i going to win this race? no...you cant. just give up. you're tired. you cant keep up... i stopped once. i was so confused. i just stopped running. stood there if i should continue running or give up. i continued. then after running for about another 200m, i just gave up. it was hard to give up. I didnt want to give up, but i couldnt keep up and i was under tremendous pressure. I know i would let myself down and be disappointed if i give up. but i just did it anyway. and the moment i stopped, i just started crying. that disappointment i felt...was unbearable...i never expected myself to stop halfway. niether did my friends. i let them down. myself down. and also..mr kok down. and the tennis team down i felt. i'm so sorry. really.
I cant believe i let myself down.
I cant believe i let my friends down.
I cant believe and accept the fact that i allowed myself to give up during the race. Such a bloody loser. I've never given up running. I always push myself to continue running and persevere. So why did i made a stupid mistake to quit? such a loser. LOSER. I thought even if i couldnt win, at least finish the race. i wanted to proof to myself that i can do it. I wanted to break my own mental barrier. That's why i bothered to go for the race. but....i gave up. I gave in to the weaker side of me. I remember being nervous and really scared at the starting point. I almost cried. When it was time to run...everyone started off really fast. I was just very pressurized and demoralized. that one and a half round was really tough for me. cause what i was thinking in my head the whole time was: how am i going to finish 7.5 rounds around the track? how am i going to win this race? no...you cant. just give up. you're tired. you cant keep up... i stopped once. i was so confused. i just stopped running. stood there if i should continue running or give up. i continued. then after running for about another 200m, i just gave up. it was hard to give up. I didnt want to give up, but i couldnt keep up and i was under tremendous pressure. I know i would let myself down and be disappointed if i give up. but i just did it anyway. and the moment i stopped, i just started crying. that disappointment i felt...was unbearable...i never expected myself to stop halfway. niether did my friends. i let them down. myself down. and also..mr kok down. and the tennis team down i felt. i'm so sorry. really.